Thursday, September 11, 2008

The Three Little Pigs

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This is a true story, proving how fascinating the mind of a six year old is. They think so logically.
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A teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs to herclass.
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She came to the part of the story where first pig was trying togather the building materials for his home. She read . 'and so the pigwent up to the man with the wheelbarrow full of straw and said: 'Pardon me sir, but may I have some of that straw to build myhouse?'
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The teacher paused then asked the class: 'And what do you thinkthe man said?'
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One little boy raised his hand and said very matter-of-factly... 'I think the man said - 'Well, I'll be damned!! A talking pig!' '
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The teacher had to leave the room.
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Wednesday, September 10, 2008

The Price of Children

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The government recently calculated the cost of raising a child frombirth to 18 and came up with $160,140 for a middle income family. Talk about sticker shock! That doesn't even touch college tuition. But $160,140 isn't so bad if you break it down.
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It translates into:
* $8,896.66 a year,
* $741.38 a month, or
* $171.08 a week.
* That's a mere $24.24 a day!
* Just over a dollar an hour.
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Still, you might think the best financial advice is don't have children if you want to be 'rich.'
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Actually, it is just the opposite. What do you get for your $160,140?
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* Naming rights. First, middle, and last!
* Glimpses of God every day.
* Giggles under the covers every night.
* More love than your heart can hold.
* Butterfly kisses and Velcro hugs.
* Endless wonder over rocks, ants, clouds, and warm cookies.
* A hand to hold, usually covered with jelly or chocolate.
* A partner for blowing bubbles, flying kites
* Someone to laugh yourself silly with, no matter what the boss saidor how your stocks performed that day.
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For $160,140, you never have to grow up. You get to:
* finger-paint,
* carve pumpkins,
* play hide-and-seek,
* catch lightning bugs, and
* never stop believing in Santa Claus .
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You have an excuse to:
* keep reading the Adventures of Piglet and Pooh,
* watching Saturday morning cartoons,
* going to Disney movies, and
* wishing on stars.
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You get to frame rainbows, hearts, and flowers under refrigeratormagnets and collect spray painted noodle wreaths for Christmas, hand printsset in clay for Mother's Day , and cards with backward letters for Father'sDay .
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For $160,140, there is no greater bang for your buck.
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You get to be ahero just for:
* retrieving a Frisbee off the garage roof,
* taking the training wheels off a bike, * removing a splinter,
* filling a wading pool,
* coaxing a wad of gum out of bangs, and coaching a baseball team that never wins but always gets treated to ice cream or pizza regardless.
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You get a front row seat to history, to witness the:
* first step,
* first word,
* first bra,
* first date, and
* first time behind the wheel.
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You get to be immortal.
--
You get another branch added to your familytree, and if you're lucky, a long list of limbs in your obituary called grandchildren and great grandchildren.
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You get an education in psychology, nursing, criminal justice, communications, and human sexuality that no college can match.
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In the eyes of a child, you rank right up there under God. You have all the power to heal a boo-boo, scare away the monsters under the bed, patcha broken heart, police a slumber party, ground them forever, and love them without limits
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So, one day they will, like you, love without counting the cost. That is quite a deal for the price!!!!!!!
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Love & enjoy your children & grandchildren !!!!
--

Tuesday, September 9, 2008

This will give you goosebumps...

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A drunk man in an Oldsmobile

They said had run the light

That caused the six-car pileup

On 109 that night.

When broken bodies lay about

'And blood was everywhere,'

'The sirens screamed out eulogies,'

For death was in the air.

'A mother, trapped inside her car,'

Was heard above the noise;

Her plaintive plea near split the air:

'Oh, God, please spare my boys!'

She fought to loose her pinned hands;

'She struggled to get free,'

But mangled metal held her fast

In grim captivity.

Her frightened eyes then focused

'On where the back seat once had been,'

But all she saw was broken glass and

Two children's seats crushed in.

Her twins were nowhere to be seen;

'She did not hear them cry, '

'And then she prayed they'd been thrown free, '

'Oh, God, don't let them die! '

Then firemen came and cut her loose, '

'But when they searched the back, '

'They found therein no little boys, '

But the seat belts were intact.

They thought the woman had gone mad

'And was traveling alone, '

'But when they turned to question her, '

They discovered she was gone.

Policemen saw her running wild

And screaming above the noise

'In beseeching supplication, '

Please help me find my boys!

They're four years old and wear blue shirts;

'Their jeans are blue to match.''

'One cop spoke up, ''They're in my car, '

And they don't have a scratch.

They said their daddy put them there

'And gave them each a cone, '

Then told them both to wait for Mom

To come and take them home.

'I've searched the area high and low, '


But I can't find their dad.

'He must have fled the scene, '

'I guess, and that is very bad.'

'The mother hugged the twins and said, '

'While wiping at a tear, '

'He could not flee the scene, you see, '

'For he's been dead a year.'

'The cop just looked confused and asked, '

'Now, how can that be true? '

'The boys said, ''Mommy, Daddy came '

'And left a kiss for you.'' '

He told us not to worry

'And that you would be all right, '

And then he put us in this car with

'The pretty, flashing light. '

'We wanted him to stay with us, '

'Because we miss him so, '

'But Mommy, he just hugged us tight '

And said he had to go.

He said someday we'd understand

'And told us not to fuss, '

'And he said to tell you, Mommy, '

'He's watching over us.'

The mother knew without a doubt

'That what they spoke was true, '

'For she recalled their dad's last words, ' ' I will watch over you.'

The firemen's notes could not explain

'The twisted, mangled car, '

And how the three of them escaped

Without a single scar.

'But on the cop's report was scribed, '

'In print so very fine, '

An angel walked the beat tonight on Highway 109.
--

Thursday, September 4, 2008

Why We Love Children!

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--

Chocolate Cake

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If all of the eight desserts listed below were sitting in front of you, which would you choose (sorry, you can only pick one)! Trust me...this is very accurate. Pick your dessert, and then look to see what psychiatrists think about you.REMEMBER - No Cheating. Make your choice before you check the meaning.
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Here are your choices:
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1. Angel Food Cake
2. Brownies
3. Lemon Meringue Pie
4. Vanilla Cake With Chocolate Icing
5. Strawberry Short Cake
6. Chocolate Cake With Chocolate Icing
7. Ice Cream
8. Carrot Cake
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1. ANGEL FOOD CAKE -- Sweet, loving, cuddly. You love all warm and fuzzy items. A little nutty at times. Sometimes you need an ice cream cone at the end of the day Others perceive you as being childlike and immature at times.
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2. BROWNIES -- You are adventurous, love new ideas, and are a champion of underdogs and a slayer of dragons. When tempers flare up you whip out yoursaber. You are always the oddball with a unique sense of humor and direction. You tend to be very loyal.
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3. LEMON MERINGUE -- Smooth, sexy, & articulate with your hands, you are anexcellent caregiver and a good teacher. But don't try to walk and chew gum at the same time. A bit of a diva at times, you set your own style because you do your own thing. You shine when it comes to helping others and have many friends.
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4. VANILLA CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Fun-loving, sassy, humorous, not very grounded in life; very indecisive and lacking motivation. Everyone enjoys being around you, but you are a practical joker. Others should be cautious in making you mad. However, you are a friend for life.
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5. STRAWBERRY SHORTCAKE -- Romantic, warm, loving. You care about other people, can be counted on in a pinch and expect the same in return. Intuitively keen. You can be very emotional at times but a true person in every way. You like to do things for yourself and help others learn about themselves.
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6. CHOCOLATE CAKE WITH CHOCOLATE ICING -- Sexy; always ready to give and receive. Very creative, adventurous, ambitious, and passionate. You can appear to have a cold exterior but are warm on the inside. Not afraid to take chances. Will not settle for anything average in life. Love to laugh.
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7. ICE CREAM -- You like sports, whether it is baseball, football, basketball, or soccer. If you could, you would like to participate, but you enjoy watching sports. You don't like to give up the remote control. Youtend to be self-centered and high maintenance.
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8. CARROT CAKE -- You are a very fun loving person, who likes to laugh. You are fun to be with. People like to hang out with y ou. You are a very warm hearted person and a little quirky at times. You have many loyal friends. You were meant to lead and teach others. A wonderful role model.
--

A sweet story that was forwarded to me...

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I was walking through a store, when I saw a cashier hand this little boy some money back.The boy couldn't have been more than 5 or 6 years old.
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The cashier said, 'I'm sorry, but you don't have enough money to buy this doll.
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'Then the little boy turned to the old woman next to him: ''Granny,are you sure I don't have enough money?''
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The old lady replied: ''You know that you don't have enough money to buy this doll, my dear.''
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Then she asked him to stay there for just 5 minutes while she went to look around. She left quickly.
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The little boy was still holding the doll in his hand.
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Finally, I walked toward him and I asked him who he wished to give this doll to.
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'It's the doll that my sister loved most and wanted so much for Christmas. She was sure that Santa Claus would bring it to her.'
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I replied to him that maybe Santa Claus would bring it to her after all, and not to worry.
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But he replied to me sadly. 'No, Santa Claus can't bring it to her where she is now. I have to give the doll to my mommy so that she can give it to my sister when she goes there' His eyes were so sad while saying this. 'My sister has gone to be with God. Daddy says that Mommy is going to see God very soon too, so I thought that she could take the doll with her to give it to my sister.''
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My heart nearly stopped.
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The little boy looked up at me and said: 'I told daddy to tell mommy not to go yet. I need her to wait until I come back from the mall.'
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Then he showed me a very nice photo of himself. He was laughing.
--
He then told me 'I want mommy to take my picture with her so she won't forget me.''I love my mommy and I wish she didn't have to leave me, but daddy says that she has to go to be with my little sister.'
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Then he looked again at the doll with sad eyes, very quietly.
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I quickly reached for my wallet and said to the boy.
--
'Suppose we check again, just in case you do have enough money for the doll!
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'''OK' he said, 'I hope I do have enough.'
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I added some of my money to his without him seeing and we started to count it. There was enough for the doll and even some spare money.
--
The little boy said: 'Thank you God for giving me enough money!'
--
Then he looked at me and added, 'I asked last night before I went to sleep for God to make sure I had enough money to buy this doll, so that mommy could give it to my sister. He heard me!''' I also wanted to have enough money to buy a white rose for my mommy, but I didn't dare to ask God for too much. But He gave me enough to buy the doll and a white rose.'''My mommy loves white roses.'
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A few minutes later, the old lady returned and I left with my basket. I finished my shopping in a totally different state of mind from when I started.
--
I couldn't get the little boy out of my mind.Then I remembered a local news paper article two days a go , which mentioned a drunk man in a truck, who hit a car occupied by a youngwoman and a little girl. The little girl died right away, and the mother was left in a critical state. The family had to decide whether to pull the plug on thelife-sustaining machine, because the young woman would not be able to recover from the coma. Was this the family of the little boy? Two days after this encounter with the little boy, I read in the news paper that the young woman had passed away. I couldn't stop myself as I bought a bunch of white roses and I went to the funeral home where the body of the young woman was for people to see and make last wishes before her burial. She was there, in her coffin, holding a beautiful white rose in her hand with the photo of the little boy and the doll placed over her chest.I left the place, teary-eyed, feeling that my life had been changed for ever.. The love that the little boy had for his mother and h is s ist er isstill, to this day, hard to imagine. And in a fraction of a second, a drunk driver had taken all this away from him.
--

Friday, August 8, 2008

What is Butt Dust?

What, you ask, is "butt dust"? Read on and you'll discover the joy in it! These have to be original and genuine, as no adult is this creative!
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Jack - age 3 - was watching his Mom breastfeeding his new baby sister. After a while he asked : "Mom why have you got two? Is one for hot and one for cold milk?"
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Melanie - age 5 -- asked her Granny how old she was. Granny replied she was so old she didn't remember anymore. Melanie said, "If you don't remember you must look in the back of your panties. Mine say five to six."
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Steven - age 3 - hugged and kissed his Mom good night. "I love you so much that when you die I'm going to buy you outside my bedroom window."
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Brittany - age 4 - had an ear ache and wanted a pain killer. She tried in vain to take the lid off the bottle. Seeing her frustration, her Mom explained it was a child-proof cap and she'd have to open it for her. Eyes wide with wonder, the little girl asked: "How does it know it's me?"
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Susan - age 4 - was drinking juice when she got the hiccups. "Please don't give me this juice again", she said, "It makes my teeth cough."
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DJ - age 4 - stepped onto the bathroom scale and asked: "How much do I cost?"
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Marc - age 4 - was engrossed in a young couple that were hugging and kissing in a restaurant. Without taking his eyes off them, he asked his dad: "Why is he whispering in her mouth?"
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Clinton - age 5 - was in his bedroom looking worried. When his Mom aked what was troubling him, he replied: "I don't know what'll happen with this bed when I get married. How will my wife fit in it?"
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James - age 4 - was listening to a Bible story. His dad read: The man named Lot was warned to take his wife and flee out of the city but his wife looked back and was turned to salt. Concerned, James asked: "What happened to the flea?"
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Tammy - age 4 - was with her mother when they met an elderly, rather wrinkled woman her Mom knew. Tammy looked at her for a while and then asked: "Why doesn't your skin fit your face?"
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The Sermon I think this Mom will never forget. This particular Sunday sermon:
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"Dear Lord," the minister began, with arms extended toward Heaven and a rapturous look on his upturned face. "Without you, we are but dust." He would have continued at that moment my very obedient daughter who was listening leaned over to me and asked quite audibly in her shrill little four year old girl voice, "Mom, what is butt dust?"